The 12 Lessons I’ve Learned Building a Business for 12+ Years (With My Wife)

From trade shows as an unknown brand…
To still working with customers 12 years later…
To building a business alongside my wife - without it breaking our marriage.

Here’s the operating system.

Lesson 1: Start With the Customer’s Stress, Not Your Idea

At the start, we created detailed pen portraits of our ideal customers.
We named them, we spoke to them, we understood what frustrated them.

Independent retailers were time-poor; they were spinning 30-40 product categories. Greeting cards were just one of many and that insight shaped everything. If you don’t understand your customer’s stress, you’ll design products for yourself. And that’s where most businesses go wrong.

Lesson 2: Build Solutions Around Pain Points

Once we understood the problem, we didn’t just create products; we created:
Best-selling bundles
Curated selections
Simplified ordering
Reduced friction

We asked: “How do we save them time?”
Not: “How do we show them everything?”
When you remove effort from your customer’s life, you become valuable.

Lesson 3: In Saturated Markets, Innovate in Risk Reduction

Greeting cards have low barriers to entry, so product innovation alone isn’t enough.
We innovated in:

Selling in multiples of three instead of six (industry norm)
No minimum order value
Lower-risk trial entry points

In competitive markets, reduce risk instead of shouting louder.

Lesson 4: Distribution & Relationships Beat Product Alone

We’re fortunate. I work with one of the best designers I’ve ever met. That helps! But great product without relationships is invisible. We documented:

Customers’ preferences
Their shop changes
Their dog’s name
Life updates

What was important to them became important for us.

Twelve years later, some of our first customers still order, and that’s not luck - that’s long-term relationship building.

Lesson 5: Play The Long Game

Quick wins are fragile. We chose:

UK manufacturing
Relationship depth
Reputation over rapid scaling shortcuts

We’re still here 12 years later. Most competitors didn’t make it that far. Time rewards consistency.

Lesson 6: Build Culture On Pillars You Actually Use

Our culture isn’t decorative, it’s built on our VIBE pillars:

Vibrancy
Innovation
Belonging
Excellence at pace

When making decisions, we ask: “Is this innovative enough?” and “Does this reflect excellence?”. If culture doesn’t guide decisions, it’s just wall art.

Lesson 7: Mission and Vision Should Reduce Decision Fatigue

When you have a clear mission, it becomes a filter.

You don’t debate everything endlessly, you check alignment. 
It speeds up decisions, aligns teams and protects direction.

Without it, you drift.

Lesson 8: Protect the Team Relentlessly

We learned the hard way:
It’s better to have a hole than an a**hole.

If someone doesn’t fit the values, support the mission
or deliver at the required pace, then they don’t belong.

As a minimum, we run a 6-7 stage interview process for any role we have open during which we test attention to detail, originality, and alignment.

These standards protect momentum.

Lesson 9: Systems Create Freedom (Even at Home)

Working with your spouse is incredible but
without boundaries, work seeps into everything.

So we built rules:
No business after certain times
Certain rooms for work conversations
No disagreements in front of the children
When you leave the room, you leave the topic.

You must separate Founder identity from Partner identity.

Structure protects relationships.

Lesson 10: Cash Flow is Oxygen

This business is our family’s sole income. That changes how you think.

Revenue is exciting.
Profit is important.
Cash flow is survival.

You can’t build long-term relationships if you can’t breathe financially.

Lesson 11: Focus Beats Expansion

We didn’t chase everything.

We understood:
Independents need one thing.
Multiples need another.
International markets behave differently.

Clarity allows tailored execution.

Lesson 12: Longevity is Engineered, Not Accidental

Marriage takes effort.
Parenting takes effort.
Business takes effort.

If you blur the lines, everything suffers. But if you design boundaries, culture, relationships, and standards carefully you can build something that lasts.

And that’s the real win.